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Bissamcuttack Beauty

Avinash Gupta:

Beautiful photography and wonderful Post.

Originally posted on maverickbird:

svetlana baghawan maverickbirdChatikona market was in full swing when we arrived there. Apart from me there was another foreign group, who ambled around the gorgeous market wide eyed and slack jawed in amazement. The strict enforced security measures seemed a bit out of place in that colourful place and police checked each and every tourist vehicle for cameras. This strict regulation apparently came into place, after the Italian tourists kidnapping case. It is rumoured that they were kidnapped after photos of semi nude Odisha tribal ladies headed with lascivious captions were found splashed in naughty publications.

They were found guilty of sneaking upon and taking photos of the women when they were bathing, and this created a huge outcry among the tribal communities. While many denounce this theory as an eyewash, photography and visiting the remote tribal villages became banned after this case. In fact, nowadays tourists are not even allowed to…

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10 things Indian non-footballing janta learned from #FIFAWorldCup2014

As I rightly predicted How Non-football media in India will cover World cup, I am back with some learnings that our non-footballing janta have learned from the World Cup.

1. Brazil Football team is like Spiltsvilla 

Neymar.. Eliminate hogaye kya ??

Neymar.. Eliminate hogaye kya ??

Many youngsters in India decided to ditch Spiltsvilla for Brazil football team. And why not, there are babes, young,passionate and over-rated boys running around and media going crazy over them. And there were tears, disappointment, elimination and drama, who needs MTV.

2. England Football Team= England Cricket Team 

Papers will write about them, media will rate them but they actually suck. That is England cricket team for most of Indian but come Football World Cup, and we realize the football world is no different. One friend suggested that Wayne Rooney should be dropped so that he can be Kevin Peterson of Football team. Make sense.

3. Holland v/s Australia in Football is inversely proportional to Holland v/s Australia in Cricket.

 

4. Irina Shayk= 100 Anushka Sharmas

No caption needed, right

No caption needed, right

 

5. Maria Sharapova knows who is David Beckham, and so do we

They know who David Beckham is , Maria Sharapova know who David Beckham is, even Alia Bhatt knows who David Beckham. Popularity proved.

6. Indian Football reporters are worse than the Prime Time Panelist 

7. John Abrahim and Gaurav Kapoor are no Football expert

8. Its not always cool to support Brazil.

Hum EK Saath Hai :P

Hum EK Saath Hai :P

Brazil team is so united that their official motto in Hindi should be Ek Saath (1-7)

9. Everyone in Coratia Football team have same similar names.

brothers

 

 

10. Only Americans call it Soccer and Indians call it FIFA 

Yea, we think calling the game FIFA is swag.

 

Also on my Blog:

How Non-football media in India

will cover #WC2014 ?

 

 Bollywood songs which

can Improve Team India’s

Performance

Thoughts on World Population Day #Puns

Its the World Population day. I don’t know why this day exist: to celebrate the population, to create awareness, or to make more population. Its too obvious that they won’t be celebrating the population, which kinda suck because it is  one of few things where we can brag. Imagine a 19 year old Indian population fan posting India’s census results on Maria Sharapova’s Facebook wall or Union Government announcing 200 Crore statue on India’s reaching the 200 Crore population landmark. Lalu Prasad Yadav could had got Padma Bhushan for creating a Cricket squad at home and Dhritarashtra would had been national symbol for having 101 kids.

Well, if population was to really be celebrated, the following individuals/institutes should be thanked first:

1. Indian Railways:

indian railways

Indian Railways has the widest network in the world (ok…2nd widest). It connects the big cities to village, jungles and dacoits and on the way leaves many sleepless couples. This is true, you can not sleep in the room near the railway tracks, unless you are death-doped or stayed in that place from the time of AK Hangal’s childhood days. In one of the essays in school, my friend actually mentioned railways as prime reason for India’s soaring population (no kidding here). He was later asked to explain in class by the teacher ( i still don’t know why) and he explained with absolute sincerarity that even Siddhu would be staring him with the silence of the lamp. Anyways, well done Indian Railways in connecting India.

2. Arrange Marriage/ Sanskaar

Our middle class Sanskaar and Arrange marriage system make sure that every Indian, no matter how ancient he/she is, have a long and protected lineage. Pre-matrial sex is absolute taboo and “are you virgin” is a legit conversation during arranged couple’s courtship. In fact, many believe that only reason sex exist is to bring more offspring in the world and has no other contribution to the relationship. This results that many in India celebrate their 1st wedding anniversary with their kid in their arm.

3. Load Shedding Program by UP Government 

via Livemint.com

via Livemint.com

UP Government has always been blamed for small things like Rioting and absence of Women safety but rarely praised for its load shedding program at the night. They leave the couples with no option but to make out in the night by forgoing electricity. Actually, the joint family culture in Uttar Pradesh gives no room for privacy to couples. They have to share their rooms with nieces, nephews, the stranger with the gun and water buffaloes. Therefore, powercut makes sure that they have some privacy. One beurrocrate from the state explained that, it is a “load shedding” in various levels.

4. Marketing Campaign of Modi Sarkaar:

BJP’s campaign that “Acche Din Ab Anne Wale Hai” ( Good days are about to come) took people’s esctasy to abnormal level and in excitement people ordered extra portions of Jalebi Fafra and made out each time FM announced “Janta maaf nahi karegi”. The bombardment of population will come soon, and Modi Sarkar will have another milestone to its name.

5. Ranjit 

In every second movie of Ranjit, a random women in saree (who in the previous scene was in VIctoria Secret Karol Bagh Chaddi Association’s lingerie) announces to him that “mein tumhare bacche ki maa banne wali hu”. At that rate of announcements, Ranjit could had broken the record of Rodger Fedrer’s number of Grand-Slam titles. With the ease that Ranjit handled his paternal pressure inspired many Indian men to start giving less shit to these worries.

Who/whom according to you shares this population Hall of Fame with the above delegates ? Do write to me.

 

Book Review: Things a Little Bird Told Me by @Biz Stone

Confession of a creative mind

Confession of a creative mind

 

Last Month, when the fellow Blogger Aman reviewed this book, he rated it 5/5 stars to which I felt that he was too generous with his ratings (you can checkout his review here). Anyway there was only one way to find out. Ever since the book was launched in April, it was high on the reading list and finally last week I managed my hands on it.

Things a Little Bird told Me, A confession of a Creative Mind is authored by Biz Stone, the co-founder of Twitter. This is not a business book, its a memoir of the exciting life that Biz leads from the basement office of Little, Brown to his experiments at the Genius Labs to working with Google for Humanizing Blogger to his experiment with the pod-casting and finally when his purple patch finally arrives with the adventures of Co-founding twitter and taking it to the heights where we see it today.

Bonus Read: Do you really think his real name is Biz Stone ? I never thought so. Here is a Story of how he got his name. ( Click on the Image below for more information)

Image via techcrunch.com. Click on the image for the full Story

Image via techcrunch.com.
Click on the image for the full Story

Biz started Twitter along with Evan Williams and Dorsey after striking the idea during Hackathron session, organized in Odeo, a pod-casting company started by Noah Glass and Williams. He gives a good track behind the thoughts on the product on the initial days.

Biz keeps no secret on his surprise on the success of twitter and no shame in admitting the server failures which were as frequent as rains in London. Apart from the twitter, he does share his fair deal of his days at Google, his other failed start-ups, his debt ridden days until Twitter was a hot cake and finally the thoughts behind starting Jelly.

His tone in the book is that of a pseudo-modest where we maintains that he is just a geek but with the genius attributes. He goes back to his school days where he used his intelligence in procrastinating and handling his difficult financial status with grace and smart-work.

In the lengths of self-praise and man-crushing on himself, Biz also gives away some important tips for a successful start-up. His thought-process is admiring, if not always practical. But one does not need a bigger certification of genius quotient than a multi-billion start-up, do they ?

I rated The thing a Little Bird Told me, A confession of a creative mind by Biz Stone 4/5 stars at the goodreads. Don’t expect Biz to be Jack Welch with this book, he is somewhere between Steve Jobs and Richard Branson. A enjoyable read, it can inspire you to try your guts, courage and of-course creativity.

2014 Goodreads Challenge: Half-way Through

Not quite a bookworm but decent first 6 months

Not quite a bookworm but decent first 6 months

I had a decent run in 2013, if not amazing. I managed 26 books and completed my modest target of 25 book a year. I also managed to complete my target of reading atleast 10 books originated from India (I read 12).

I think in the busy lives we have, if we can manage 25 quality books a year, then we are doing well with your reading. For 2014, I maintained my target of 25 books, which looks small when compared to 50, 70 or even 100 books targets that I have seen people pledging. To be honest, I have not seen anyone going below the target that I have set.

So far, I have done better than my expectation and notched 18 books in first 6 months. I tried to maintain the diversity by picking from Graphic novels, fiction, classics (Actually I am reading Anna Karenina right now, if you don’t find any classics below), mythology and Biographies. You can check the complete list below.

 

See who made the Hall of Frame

See who made the Hall of Frame

 

Stand out Books:

Fiction: Em and the Big Hoom by Jerry Pinto (Click here for book Review )

The beautiful paperback

The beautiful paperback

Non-Fiction: The things a little bird told Me, by Biz Stone 

Confession of a creative mind

Confession of a creative mind

Graphic Novel: Transmetropolitan, Vol-1 (Click here for the book review )

Book Cover : Transmetropolitan

Book Cover : Transmetropolitan

I think, its time to revise this year’s target now. How is your reading going on, friends ? Do share.

And also, this is my 100th post on this blog, so don’t forget to congratulate me :P

Comic Book Review: The Best of the Spirit

Art work for the book Cover. Looks brilliant, no ?

Art work for the book Cover. Looks brilliant, no ?

If I just say that the Neil Gaiman’s  introduction was the best part of the book, then I will be undermining the awesome stories that comic book legend, Will Eisner has created with the The Spirit. The reason that Neil’s commentary was so impactful and long lasting to me was the way he creates the setting and excitement for the stories that follows up.  He highlights the Will’s contribution in the popular culture and comic universe at large and also his influence on the generations of writers.

The Spirits, is based in 1940s-50s,  a secret crime detective, in an Urban American neighborhood. But honestly , reading the Spirits was like reading the Batman and other future comic cults in making. Pay attention to the following points :

1. The Spirit does not have any super power.

2. His best friend is the Commissioner of Police who only knows about his true identity.

3. His side kick is a kid ( however distastefully portrayed black kid)

4. He falls in love with a skillful thief.

5. He lives in a city similar to New York city but has a fictitious name.

I can go on. My point here is to show the influence of The Spirit in the future publication. He truly inspired the future authors with this mater-piece and you can find even Neil using the multiple point of view style and omnipresent narration. I was blown away with some strips, however the first few stories were quite ordinary (blame it to the standards set by Eisner).

I gave, The best of the Spirit, by Will Eisner, a 3/5 stars in the goodreads. I may not look very generous with my rating but  deduction of a star is for few stories which were out of place. It is not only the history lesson of comic books but also a joyful reading.

P.S: I thank The Sunday Book Club (#TSBC), who recommended me this book as my June reading Challenge.  is a Book Chat that takes place on Sundays between 3-4PM IST on twitter (@TSBookClub). Join us for the fabulous book conversation.

Thank God I didn’t post that

Since we all are part of our sinister little world of broadcasting , where some of our friends are happy to even share the color of poop of their adorable dog. We all post at the speed of thoughts, thoughts which are deceived by the glitters like hunger strikes and Ferguson’s endorsement.

Last week, WordPress informed me that it was my blog’s anniversary, which made me to go back to the blogs that I had posted and some drafts which were not completed. While going through the drafts, I was thankful that I didn’t post some of them.

So, here are some near Foot-in-the-Mouth moments I had. Or, as I say, thank god I didn’t post that:

1. A lengthy defense of David Moyes, even though everything was going wrong for him:

Moyes Hail Hydra

While everything was going wrong with him, when everyone were going against him, I still believed in him. I was annoyed by the United fans who were not backing their manager, David Moyes- aka Fergie’s Choice. As months passed by, I was still holding my patience and was going to write a very lengthy defense for Moyes, which thank god, i didn’t post that, because 2 weeks after that, he was sacked but with the optimism back in the United’s camp, I now think it was right to fire him.

 

2. Honey Singh will crash and Burn

Honey Singh sharing screen with Amitabh

Honey Singh sharing screen with Amitabh

Right now, Honey Singh has the world under his feet. Couple of years back, I had predicted that Honey Singh was clown of his own kind and will not stay around for much. There was also a canceled show in Gurgoan (of all the places) due to his sexist image, that backed my thinking. Roll the time now, Honey Singh is not only successful among the Mallviya Nagar/Model Town boys, but has also penetrated in India’s elite, women and children. His songs are not only played loudly in the North-India’s SUVs but also in wedding celebrations, discotheque and Indian parliament (Ok, not yet, but I won’t be surprise when it happens )

3. Wrote a movie review of 3 idiots

3-Idiots

It seems, 3 idiots is one of the most loved movie of all time. I have seen people invoking 3 idiots in conversations in the same level of admiration of Sholey and Gunda. Within a week of movie’s release, it was evident that this movie was everyone’s favorite. However, this movie didn’t strike the cords with me. In fact, I was  disappointed by the movie. Not only the movie had bunch of 40 year olds as college going nerds, but also an exaggeration of genius quotient to exponential level. “Five Point Someone”, on which the movie was claimed to be based on, was a book about 3 friends, who were ordinary, 5 pointers, not the success stories we usually read about. But our film makers can not let the hero be mediocre or even relatable with Mango population of our country. Amair Khan plays messiah throughout the movie with neither any character flaw nor any academic flaw. Too bad that the script had no scope of showing his athletic and martial qualities.

Turns out where I found the movie very average, which I almost posted, I saved myself debating and defending my opinion to the Rancho fans and hence thank god I didn’t post it.

 

MARVEL News: Guardians of The Galaxy – New UK Trailer 17/6/2014

Originally posted on Nothing Is True:

Guardians of the Galaxy

A new trailer has been released for the next big MARVEL series ‘Guardians of the Galaxy, releasing July 3st in the UK and Ireland.

The trailer does have some new footage added, but fans will have noticed the change in the background music as “some” with no sense of humour complained about the use of previous ‘Spirit in the Sky’ track, in this trailer going for a more generic and expected orchestral score for the trailer. I prefer ‘Spirit In the Sky’ myself. Very much looking forward to the release, definitely lining up to be the hit of the summer for comic book fans.

marvel logo

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Book Review: Transmetropolitian, Vol: 1

Don’t we all get tired of the society, with the cynicism of people, arrogance of the people with power, the double standards of morality, the two edges of smiles and with the hopelessness in the souls around us? Don’t we all want to buy a big bad-ass apartment on the top of mountain and stay away from the jungle of concretes? Don’t we develop a fatigue from believing in the civic sarcasm of the keepers of our world?

Book Cover : Transmetropolitan

Book Cover : Transmetropolitan

Yes, I think so we all do, but not in the scale of Spider Jerusalem, the journalist in the futuristic world, the protagonist of the manic comic book series, Transmetropolitan . Created by Warren Ellis and co-credited to Darick Robertson, Transmetropolitan, Vol 1, Back on the Street, maintains the dark theme inherited in Warren’s previous creations. He creates a world in future, the one from the dreams of death metal artist, with the chaos and madness which exists like a Torjan horse. A world that is struggling to emotionally cope with the next level of human evolution. The world which is looking for spiritual answers with ever increasing number of religions and churches.

Its the world with Gothamic absence of soul that needs a outlaw messiah to bring back hope. But in comes Spider Jerusalem with cynical sense of humor and self-destructive journalistic practice. His hatred towards the empty lifeless city and its patrons takes him to the mountains where he blewed  all his money from the famous books he wrote on the political smugness. He returns to city and journalism, serving his hatred with his words.

Its hard to say that it is a must read because you need to be in the certain wavelength to appreciate the art and the dialogues in the book. Created in late 90s, it will be ironic to say that it was ahead of its time, but the book is alter-ego of the world we live in, with the symbolism of different scale. Like, the moment which gave Spider the nostalgia on Television was suicidal “Anthrax Cat” , also his futuristic Home-appliance is on electronic dope and its mafia customer service leaves a horse head on his bed when he complains about it.

I rated Transmetropolitan, Volume 1 by Warren Ellis 5/5 stars in Goodreads. Insanity and rationality never co-existed better than this world.

How Non-football media in India will cover #WC2014 ?

cricketer playing football

The time has come when all the non-football fans, folks, media and the nations realize the power of this sport. When every kids in India will start supporting Brazil football team without realizing that Ronaldo now plays for Portugal and random uncle inquiring you, “what happened to Ronaldinho ?”The thing is that so much will be written/covered  about the World Cup that everyone, including the average Johda Akbar/ Diya Aur Batti types will talk and discuss football.

How about media in India? How will they cope with this mega shift of power from elections/ipl/reality shows/ babas to football ?

Here is how media will treat the world cup in coming days. Arnab Gosawmi will try his best to do frankly speaking with Roy Hudson, while Deepak Chorasia will add Brazil to his illustriously list of danger travels of Iraq, Afghanistan, Mars and Noida and Rajdeep will claim that his channel was most watched during the World cup, like every other news channel. Other highlights are as under:

1. Man of Match will re-coined on Salman Khan movies.

Neymar will be called Tiger, Robben will e bWanted and Messi will be Dabbang. This will how the post game analysis will be in coming days. Watch this space.messi dabbang

2. All forwards will be called Strikers, no matter where they play.

3. Comparison between Football & Cricket

This will involve comparison between Chennai Super kings & Real Madrid, Pretty Zinta & Roman Abramovich, Usha Uthup & Piers Morgan, Rohit Sharma & Fernando Torres, & Greg Chappel & David Moyes.

4. WAGs and Swags

Shakira

You may find Aaj Tak Visesh or Special Report on News24 on Wives and Girl Friends. Finally, one show where England might actually wins the World Cup.

 

5. Which Indian celeb went to Brazil for the finals

Around the semi-finals and finals, lot of Indian celebs will be traveling to Brazil. Our media will make sure they get more coverage than in-coming floods in Bihar and Assam.

If you are lucky football nerd, the chances are the hot girl may come across your table and ask you to explain offside rule. Actually I am putting all my eggs in this basket to get a date this month.  Have a awesome Footballing time everyone.

Also on my Blog:

 Bollywood songs which

can Improve Team India’s

Performance

 

Drunk Fantasy Premier League

 

Book Review: Cuckold by Kiran Nagarkar

Book Cover: Cuckold

Book Cover: Cuckold

Don’t deny yourself the pleasure of reading this book“, a friend told me while discussing this book. Well, that statement was good enough to sell this book to me. There was also another thing about the discussion. I didn’t know what Cuckold meant. Like a good ambassador of my generation, I googled it and stumbled upon the wikipedia page of Cuckold. It said,

“Cuckold historically referred to a husband with an adulterous wife and is still often used with this meaning. In evolutionary biology, the term cuckold is also applied to males who are unwittingly investing parental effort in offspring that are not genetically their own.Since the 1990s, the term has also been widely used to refer to a sexual fetish in which the fetishist is stimulated by their committed partner choosing to have sex with someone else”

This took my curiosity to different level and I had no option but to read it asap. The book is first person narration of Maharaj Kumar, from the kingdom of Chittor , of the Mewad dynasty. Based on 17th century, the book shows the era of volatility of Princely states and the fear of British invasion to these states.

Fictional life of Maharaj Kumar is loosely based on real life ruler Thakur Bhojpur. Maharaj Kumar’s wife is very close inspiration from the Mira Bai, a cult figure in the Hindu devotional circles. The book portrays not only  the high royal lifestyle but also the hint of Rajputana arrogance and alpha male machoness.

The plot moves to court-rooms, recreational halls, battle grounds and romantic gardens. Kiran gives tastes of all aspects of High-born emotions with love, hate, politics, lust and insecurities.

Eventually there were wars and betrayals, two of the most sought after royal recipe. Overall, the book takes the reader to the different era of Indian history. The characters are well shaped and stay honest to their architecture.

On the book cover, there is a praise by Khushwant Singh, stating “One of the best by an Indian“, which is obviously a huge compliment to the book. The language of the book did miss out the classic edge, the one we expect in historical fictions. Also some episodes might have been too obvious and too predictable at the time. However, the book knew how to entertain and keep the history relevant. In 2000, the book won the author, India’s National Academy of Letters Award.

I rated Cuckold by Kiran Nagarkar, 3 out of 5 stars in goodreads.com. Definitely, one of the important books from India, even if not the finest one.

More Book Reviews on My Blog  

Book Review: Narcopolis

 

Book Review: Em and the big

Hoom

90′s Pictorial Film Rewind: Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

Avinash Gupta:

A Genius is a Genius.. Haha… you have brains !

Originally posted on ImaanSheikh:

For 90′s bolly kids like myself, life would never have been the same if it wasn’t for this particular movie. I know how to weave a friendship band. And I know you probably owned a “C_O_O_L” necklace like Rahul at some point in your life, too.

Today we’re rewinding Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, because rare things feel as good as a solid kick to the childhood.

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai is a beautiful story about the triumph of conformity over everything else. It is a heart-touching film experience which strengthens your ancient beliefs — don’t be yourself, especially if you’re a woman. By the end of KKHH, one finds themselves saying “Jeet hamesha p̶y̶a̶a̶r̶  sari ki hoti hai” (L̶o̶v̶e̶  sari always wins).

As we have learned, all 90′s Bollywood super hits start with a scene where someone’s reminiscing about the good days. That’s what happens here. We see a very sad…

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Book Review: The Childhood of Jesus by J.M Coetzee

Book Cover: Childhood of Jesus by Coetzee

Book Cover: Childhood of Jesus by Coetzee

The Childhood of Jesus is a fictional book authored by Nobel prize and twin winner of Man Booker prize, J.M Coetzee. This is the latest release of the South African author, coming in the shelf in late 2013. After reading Disgrace & The Slow man by him, I was very excited to have my hands on his other works & choose it to accompany me on a long train journey last fortnight.

The plot follows the man, who has emigrated to an unnamed territory in search of a new life. He accompanies a kid, who is separated from his mother in the same voyage. The man takes the moral responsibility to find kid’s mother. On arrival to the unnamed country, they are assigned new names and taught Spanish to get along with other natives. In this strange country, everyone is starting fresh, with no memory and no previous attachments. The book moves forward with the search of boy’s mother,his uncertain future and up-bringing in an unusual surrounding.

One of the specialty of Coetzee is his ability to develop raw male characters who are shamelessly honest about their desires and have acceptance about their limitations. He keeps his USP intact in this book as well but he failed to fill the emptiness of the plot by the grace of his characters. The book is good enough read but due to high expectations from the author of his caliber, it somehow misses the “Wow-zone” that Coetzee usually penetrate.

Inspite of some hollowness, there are many moments that make you a pause and wonder. It ends with the sudden brakes, giving a jerk to the smooth ride. Overall, for over 300 pages of Coetzee’s writing, nothing is a bad read. I rated The Childhood of Jesus 3/5 stars in goodreads.

More Books on my Blog

Book Review: Narcopolis

 

  Book Review: Disgrace

 

How to be popular among Indian Elders?

We all have been in that space: surrounded by elders, finding yourself irrelevant to old timers, expression less reaction when they fart loudly and sulking when they want to discuss IPL with you.

So let me help you with some tested and tried methods to make you friends with Indian Elderly community:

1. Ask about their Bowel Movements or Acidity as Ice-breaker

This is from the old commercial of Kaayam Churan. Kinda creepy

This is from the old commercial of Kaayam Churan. Kinda creepy

The connect between the elders and young-ones are difficult to make because elders think that all the young people are worried about are first World problems: like global warming, inflation and nuclear war. What we are missing are the real problems like Constipation, pills and acidity. Ask them about their Bowel movements and you might become their best friend

 

2. Give him permission to pick-up your future spouse.

Nothing will give them more honor than a permission for pick your future bride or groom. After all these years of networking and connections, where else but in arrange marriage they can leverage it. So gear up for your next wing-wan.

I am gonna offer you a mate you can't refuse

I am gonna offer you a mate you can’t refuse

3. Tell him about your girl-friend (even if you have to made her up)

The time you tell them about your girlfriend/boyfriendn and they will be filled with excitement, specially with the joy of being a chosen one with the sensitive information. Even if you are not in relationship, I suggest you make one up to earn a new best friend in the family.

Word of warning: They might act cool but they will be full of skepticalism and will be asking you lots of questions

Play it cool !

Play it cool !

4. Say “I will think about it” even to most bizarre suggestion

Seniors sometimes can catch you on the spot and can spare you with the most bizarre of suggestions. They might suggest you to apply cow’s pee in your face pimple or put plastic covers over your laptop for the protection from the dust. Please don’t hurt their sentiments by going straight no on the face and say “I will think about it” with some grace.

Kripaa aayegi

Kripaa aayegi

5 Compliment that he looks like the actor of his time:

Compare him with someone of his time and you are his hero for life. Here are some notable comparisons :

a. If he is 40 years to50 :  Sunny Deol

b. 50 years- 60 years: Amitabh Bachchan

c. 60-65 years: Rajesh Khanna

d.  70-80 years: Dilip Kumar

e. 80 + years: A K Hangal

f. A K Hangal + : The Mummy

Ohh.. The good old days

Ohh.. The good old days

6. Teach him how to use I-phone

For Indian elders, I-phone is the most difficult machine in the world. If they borrow someone’s cellphone to call, and it turns out to be an i-phone, it is his worst nightmare. So, if you are able to give some tips, probably teach them about app store, you are their friends for life.

"Phones are for calling right "?

“Phones are for calling right “?

7. Be friends with them on Facebook

Make friends with them on facebook, like their religious status, laugh at their stone-age jokes and you can become their second favorite person (after Mark Zuckerberg).

Okay !

Okay !

 

More Puns on my Blog 

Guide book to Indian Wedding

 

How to know if your friend is

doing MBA 

 

Doordarshan’s Aankhen > CID (#PunsIntented)

No other Television series has slaved more than CID in India. Right from the time of Aahat to the times of Bade Chutiye Achhe Lagte hain , CID has been single handily saved SET India’s ass in so many years. But the big question is: Is CID the greatest Indian defective detective show ever? If you are saying yay, then you are obviously wrong.

Doordarshan, along with the famous banner of Ramanada Sagar bought a amazing show which will bring not only CID but also 24 to shame. To prove me right, I have to just play the theme song and I rest my case.

Maybe the technology looks like designed by 7 year olds and bullet sounds  like imported from the kid’s toys, but Aankhen deals with bigger problems than CID. Here are the reasons why Aankhen > CID

1. The Purpose: While ACP and his league of laughable detectives deal with pity crimes in Malad (Suburb in Mumbai, where CID team calls it home), Aankhen on the other hand, took advantage of India’s loss to Pakistan in cricket tournament and leveraged it on Television show by showing dangers from Pakistan’s army, ISI and PCB(actually not PCB).It was shot in early 2000,before they know about Hina Rabbani Khar and Atif Aslam, it was safe to show all negatively towards the neighbors and it payed off.

2. The team : ACP Pradyuman, spite of doing great job since 1998 is still not promoted by his department. This shows his lack of charm. Whereas Aankhen’s chief is Colonel Dhyanchand. Yes, Colonel, think of a higher rank. Also, here is the snapshot of the team, if you want to compare head to head.

So you can see, No competition

So you can see, No competition

3. The Enemies: Again CID loses this round. CID’s prime suspect are everyday Tom converted into criminal minds. Aankhen enemies are Govt. of Pakistan and their foreign recruit, Carlos and his sidekick kangaroo. Even the mention of their names can freeze your spine.

The Badass Carlos

The Badass Carlos Courtesy: indicollect,com

To know how Aankhen team soved the crime and their challenges, please do watch the video below:

If you are Aankhen fan, then do join the Facebook Page, Bring Back Aankhen  More Puns on My Blog 

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Bollywood: Movie Tittles That Makes no Sense

My sincere apologies for creating havoc by demanding sense from Bollywood. It is a  home of cinemas where logic and rationality are allowed to take the leave and sense and sensibility is excused for bigger cause: Entertainment, entertainment aur sirf entertainment.

Here are movie tittles which have no thoughts attached to it:

1. Bol Radha Bol (Translation: Say it Mary, just say it )

Entire movie is based on Kishan’s (Rishi Kapoor) sudden misery due to imposer and look-a-like Tony who takes away all his wealth , nachos and happiness after he returns from fun and dancing trip (Remember- Tu-tu-tu Tu-tu Tara, thodo naa Dil Hamara…songwriting at its best) to country-side India. Kishan fights back and gets everything back like a true hero. However movie name is Bol-Radha-bol, that sounds like 3rd degree interrogation to Radha (Juhi Chawla) whose contribution in movie were dancing in 2 songs and agreeing to wear terrible clothes selected by the costume designer.

Ok.. This needs a caption

Ok.. This needs a caption

2. Hum Aap ke Dil Mein Rahte Hain (Translation: I am the Parasite who leaves in your Heart.)

Here is the transcript of the conversation between Director and Assistant Director during the making of the movie:

Dir: We need the lead character to look like NRI.

Assit. Dir: No problem, we will make him wear sunglasses from Aslam bhai’s shop in Hera Panna.

D: Brilliant. Also, we need to make this a family movie,what should be our theme.

AD: Sir, simple! Arrange marriage, Rich v/s poor, principles, values and love.

D: hmm. This shit is getting too serious. We need to light this up.

AD: How about you and Jonhney Leverji do a cameo of awfully irrelevant unfunny comedy.

D: Genius ! Last Problem, what should we name the movie.

AD: Anything unrelated. Probably the long lines from any song of the movie.

D: Done!!

The best Sun-glasses ever

The best Sun-glasses ever

3. Mein Prem Ki Diwani Hoon (Translation: I am crazy about Pringles)

Not only the title, entire movie made no fucking sense at all. Kareena’s aunt arranges her to meet Prem, a wealthy NRI who is visiting India. Kareena’s family goes all Alok Nath on the guy’s (Hrithik)ass who turns out to be the namesake assistant  of Abhishek. The movie had enough potential to end the career of 3 stars (Kareena, Hrithik and Raju Sirvastav) and Abhishek Bachchan who is still ullu banaying everyone.

Where being normal is not accepted

Where being normal is not accepted

4. Hote Hote Pyar ho gaye (Translation:  Eventually and Eventfully, we Found love in a hopeless way.)

Indian relationship experts says that if you go for love marriage, you will eventually go on fighting but in arrange marriage, no matter how incompatible your spouse is, you will eventually fall in love. The same shit happens in this movie where the great Dad of Tiger Sheroff, Shri Shri Jakie ji is arranged to marry Kajol who loves some dude who eventually cheats her. The movie titles says it all: Don’t come to theater or buy our DVD and we are so terrible, that don’t even download it for free.

Yes, Give me Some Dope

Yes, Give me Some Dope

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Baroda Food Favourites

Avinash Gupta:

Brilliant figure Biting Post

Originally posted on Therefore I travel:

I spent hardly 11 months in Baroda but within a month, it had become my favourite city. It has so much to offer. I barely settled there (took a week to settle down the house) and I was engaging myself in various activities and hitting new restaurants. It’s been 1.5 years since I left the big, little city and my mind (my taste buds, actually) still keeps going back to its food fare.

Picking a few was very difficult. But I managed to list down my absolute favourites.

Upma at Canara Coffee house

Canara Coffee House

Canara Coffee House

Never EVER have I had better upma. And will never. Unless I go back to India and reach CCH at 7 am. Reach there at 8 am and the upma is over. Upma is served with coconut chutney. It is neither plain salty not overly sweet. It is the right mixture of savoury, sweet and spicy…

View original 1,208 more words

Book Review: Narcopolis by Jeet Thayil

Narcopolis- Book Cover

Narcopolis- Book Cover

There are dark corners, blood stains, opium trips and bad memories in Jeet’s Narcopolis. In the small lanes of Shuklaji street, in the illicit brothel, in the opium dens and in the newly communist village in Guangdong are the characters of the book. None of them are the central character. In few pages you are tricked by a narrator who appears like a central character but in the end, you realize that every character is a support to the central plot.

It starts with the narrator, who is not in a rush and has a poetic touch. He then takes a long absence from the story and let others have the action. Rashid, the owner of the Opium Den and his side-kick, Dimple, eunuch who lives in the brothel, keeps the plot warm for Mr. Lee and Rumi. And then there were artists, murderers, pocket-maar (pick-pocket-er) and pathaar maar. Also staring are Zannat Aman from Hare Rama Hare Krishna, the cool Breeze on Juhu beach, the chaos of Grant Road, religious riots and invasion of crystal drug.

Based on 1970s till 2000s, Narcopolis is great read. It has a slow elegance, a pace of a happy turtle. The book was also shortlisted for Man Bookers Prize final list. I rated it 4 out 5 stars on goodreads 

Quote from the Book:“Then there are the addicts, the hunger addicts, the rage addicts, the poverty addicts , and power addicts, and the pure addicts who are addicted not to substances but to the oblivion and the tenderness the substances engender. An addict, if you don’t mind me saying so, is like a saint. What is a saint but someone who has cut himself off, voluntarily, from the world’s traffic and currency.” 

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The Khushwant Singh I knew

Khushwant Singh joke books

I discovered Khushwant Singh in the Wheelers book store in the Railway station (I don’t remember which one but I think its Calcutta ). The book that won my attention was not Train to Pakistan or The Company of Women. I set my eyes on the Khushwant Singh’s joke books.

That was an era before SMS and Watapps. Even before email forwards. Before we knew that stand-up comedians could get full time job. The humor were restricted to Johnny Lever’s cameo in movies or some loud uncle’s ill-attempts  in the family gatherings.

His joke books were instant way for fame for me. Jokes made me popular; in school, in gully cricket team, in family gatherings and in neighborhood. Some of his jokes were taboo in nature, we called it non-veg, which made me famous among the older boys in the school.

As we grew up, the technology took over the joke telling experience. Now, the jokes were not told, they were forwarded. This has also taken a toll over my popularity (ok, I am just dramatizing it ). I try to clean the rust from the old humor bone through this blog sometimes, sometimes through tweets. Also, later I discovered the actual Khushwant Singh, his writing, his column in Hindustan Times on weekend and his books in Penguin orange paperbacks.

He passed away last month, at a giant age of 99. Its a late tribute to someone who was part of my bookshelf in two different timelines, for two different reasons.

My theme for #AtoZChallenge is Indian Books and related topics.  To know more about #AtoZChallenge, please visit the link